Tuesday, 17 November 2009
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The "One" that got away
"Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental ... Especially you Jenny Beckman ... Bitch"
So the other day, I finally watched, "500 Days of Summer" and I loved it because unlike those other happily-ever-after Disney movies, this movie showed how a relationship that seemed to be going so well, fell into a thousand miserable pieces; just like it does in real life.
One of the most heartbreaking moments of the movie was when Summer remeets Tom at his favorite spot. He asks her, "Why?" (Why did she leave him? Why did she say she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone but is now married? Why did she not have the courage to just tell him she had moved on with her life? Why did she give him that last string of hope and then pull the rug from under? Why did she have to be such a heartless biatch?) And she replies, "I just knew with him what I wasn't sure with you."
And as much as I hated her, I loved her reply.
I really thought this friendship thing with Max could work but I have realized I was wrong. Before I met Max, I was a lot like Tom. I believed in all that love at first sight, the one, mushy romantic crap. And then after Max left, I was an emotional wreck, crazy at times but mostly just dead inside. A lot of people tried to comfort me with their "there's plenty of fishes in the sea," "it's his lost, not yours," etc. But I knew the truth, how I felt about Max was something I would never feel about anyone else.
It's been a few year since Max broke up with me and in that two years, I've probably been interested in five men at most. And it's not that I was even really interested in them; they, in some way or form, reminded me of Max and so I pushed myself to pursue something with them, in hopes that what Max and I had could be rekindle in a relationship with someone who was like him.
Max was "the one." In my twenty-five years of life, I have never felt so much passion with anyone before. Before Max, there were plenty of boys I liked but there was never someone I just had to get to know, someone I just had to be with; Max was different. The moment I saw him, I just knew that he would be someone important in my life. My feelings for Max were beyond passionate and I will always love him, whether I would like to or not.
But here's the ugly truth, Max will never feel the same. The passion I feel, the love I have, he will never understand or reciprocate. Because if he did, we'd still be together, but we're not. Much like Summer, Max will find someone who he will just know he is meant to be with, something he was never sure enough with me.



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