TheUglyTruth's Datingish

Family Whore?

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 03:46:12 GMT

I love my best friend to death. She's been my best friend for the better part of my twenties. And I always thought that she would some day really become family. You see, my best friend is my brother's girlfriend, was my brother's girlfriend. They were high school sweethearts and for as long as I remembered, she was always a part of my family. Ten years of good times and bad times, they finally called it quits. Well, more like, she called it quits. I was surprised. Surprised because for so long, she held onto their relationship; she was extremely committed to making it work, regardless of everyone else's doubt, she always stuck by him and their relationship. The night they broke up; I assumed it was just one more of those times, where they'd argue, they'd fight, they'd take a break, and then get back together because life without each other was no life at all.

Two months after they broke up, I sensed that she was interested in someone she knew then better to be interested in: a cousin of mine. I didn't say much; I held my breathe; I assumed she'd know better. But she didn't.

Is it wrong of me to end our friendship? Is it wrong of me to feel like she cheated me and our friendship? Is it wrong of me to feel extremely betrayed?

Dating a Divorced Man

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:17:36 GMT

I never thought I'd ever date a divorced man and there I was dating a divorce man. At first, I kept my distance because although I thought his son was absolutely adorable and that it was quite courageous of him to raise a child by himself, I knew that I would always have this feeling like he would never truly be mine because he had belong to someone else a life time ago. I don't know when the feelings became real but what I do know is that when I fell, I fell hard and somehow I expected him to catch me; he did, briefly. What seemed like the most blissful moment of my life quickly became the most heartbreaking moment of my life. He up and lefted, just like that. He changed his mind about me, about us, and about what we could be. So here I am, soaking in my misery while he continues to prey on women who think he is a man when all he is a little boy collecting his "jars of hearts".

I deserve much better than you

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 04:31:14 GMT

It's been three years and somehow I can't forget about you. The other night I was laying in bed and I yearned for your arms around me. And then today, I called you; somehow my fingers remembered those numbers it had no longer needed to know. You didn't pick up; you sent me to voicemail like whatever I had to say was not important enough for you to hear. I hung up; I kicked myself for being so stupid. You see, three years without you and I am alive; alive in some unnatural state. I am alive but I am not myself. I look in the mirror, I've gained a few pounds here and there; I still have those hips you use to love, the hips that you said would help bear your children. I still have those lips you use to adore, the lips you'd be sure to kiss every morning and every night; the lips that used to say, "I love you, the most." Three years and I finally realize that I'm stupid. It's three years and here I am still dwelling on what was. Three years and I'm still letting you hurt me. I can't fall asleep because all I want to do is cry; cry for the me that you left behind, cry for the me that I left behind, cry for the me that can't let you go. I'm drowning; I'm dying; and yet somehow I'm still alive.

"It made me feel like a hot, sexy porn star."

Tue, 16 Mar 2010 15:29:13 GMT

The other day, one of my girlfriend reveals to me that her new boyfriend suggested they make a sex video. She didn't think he was serious until he took out his camera phone and started filming them. She revealed to me that she thoroughly enjoyed the experience; in fact, making the video turned her on even more and rewatching them doing it was even more erotic. In her own words, "It made me feel like a hot, sexy porn star."

It's not uncommon for people to record themselves doing the dirty but I found it hilarious when she said she felt like a porn star. I had to burst her bubble and inform her that female porn stars are just horrible actress pretending to enjoy sex and that if she enjoyed it, then unfortunately for her she couldn't be a porn star.

Finding the one at the clubs

Sat, 30 Jan 2010 06:11:30 GMT

So the other day, I was literally cornered by an ex-follower of Christ (which a story in itself) where she basically attacked me and told me that my way of life was "out-of-control" and that I should not be taking my friends (who are also just happen to be followers of Christ) with me to the clubs. She then goes on to say that the clubs is not an appropriate place to find "the one." I had to hold myself from laughing at her stupid statement. I go to the clubs and bars because I'm a fullgrown adult who happens to have friends who enjoy spending time at places like that.

Now that I think about it though, if the clubs and/or bars are not appropriate places to find "the one" where are we suppose to find them? And what would be consider an appropriate place? I honestly don't think there's a right or wrong place to find the one but maybe I'm just naive.

Hot, Crazy, Double Standard

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 04:01:13 GMT

That about sums up last night's episode of The Bachelor. Now, I've never been a big fan of The Bachelor but I will have to admit, I did watch the complete season of The Bachelorette with Tristan and Ryan and a worthwhile season too because they are the only couple from the reality television show to still be together!

With that said, I wanted to express my utter disappointment with last night's episode. Now, before the season was aired, ABC hyped up the audience about a scandal that occurs on the show, something that has never happened before. Turns out, one of the contestants (yes, contestant because that's what they really are) had previously dated one of the producers. What? No way! She had dated someone before coming to the show! That's so preposterous! (That's me trying to be sarcastic...)

My point here is that the hot model Rozlyn Papa was kicked out of the show for something everyone does. Now, I know what you're all thinking, she shouldn't have been dating one of the "staffer". But isn't the point of finding love to date and to find out if someone could be that special someone; what if the producer had been "the one". And um, isn't the Jake, the Bachelor, dating all those girls on the show at the same time? He went on a group date and was holding two different hands at the same time. I mean, Papa dated the producer before the show began. It's not like she was screwing both of them at the same time; which might be what Jake does before the end of the season. So why is ABC making a big deal out of all this? Yes, you guessed it, ratings!

What happened to finding real love? Do people really need to go on a reality tv show to find love? If Flavor Flav can't find love on a reality tv show, what makes average people think they're going to find love on reality tv show?

***I will admit that Michelle is hilarious! With all the crying and psychotic mood swings. I love how she pulled Jake aside and pours out her heart about how she didn't get a date with him and he nods his head saying he knows how she feels but he's really thinking, "You're crazy!" We know she's only on the show because the producers and viewers love her insecurities. ***

Kissing is overrated ...

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 06:20:13 GMT

Or so he says. So I'm currently seeing this guy whom we shall call Jeremy. Jeremy is handsome, nice, sweet, good personality and everything you look for in a guy when you first meet them of course. Now, on our third date, we shared our first kiss which turned into a pretty hot, steamy make-out session. That was a month ago. It has now come to my attention that Jeremy refuses to kiss me now. He doesn't mind holding my hand, or cuddlilng, or all of the rated "R" stuff but if he has to kiss me, he acts as if he'll die. I practically have to beg him to kiss me and when he does finally cave in, it's one small peck.

I love kissing. There's just something so passionate and magical about it and I can't imagine being with someone who does not like to kiss. But I also like Jeremy ...

So what should I do? End it because he doesn't like to kiss? Or suck it up and never get to have another passionate kiss?

Drama Queens Bring Nothing But Drama

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:00:46 GMT

I've had it with girls who love, love drama. It has again occurred to me that I am yet again the talk of the town. And when it all comes down to it, I just wished these girls would have the audacity to walk up to me and just ask me the truth because I would tell them the truth if they gave me the time of day.

An ex-friend of mine, who I guess you could say was never really my friend to begin with, saw me at the bar the other day and she walked right pass me and screamed the name of one of my friends who had gone with me to the bar. She gave her this big hug and had her back turned to me as if I didn't exist. I wasn't mad or anything; I just figured she was going to remain immature until the end of time and I wasn't going to waste my time apologizing over and over again for what I did when I really didn't do anything wrong but expressed how I felt. As the night progress, she got little more intoxicated and the more intoxicated she gets the more revealing she becomes. As I was driving home that night with my friend (Tess) informs me why our ex-friend (Blue) is still mad at me and refuses to talk to me or acknowledge me. Turns out that Blue's friend Zee thinks I'm trying to steal her boyfriend.

Now, here's the story with Zee and her boyfriend Dan. I met Dan two years ago while playing basketball at a local park with a group of friends. Dan and I became really good friends within a small time frame. Now, Dan's a pretty good looking guy, tall, and has a lot going for him. Dan and Zee were not together at the time when Dan and I became friends; in Dan's words, Zee didn't want to be in a relationship with him because she was keeping her options open. And she was. When Zee found out that Dan and I were become good friends she freaked out and demanded that Dan end things with me. Dan refused because there was nothing to end, we were just friends. Zee threw a thousand fits but Dan vouched for our friendship and I greatly appreciated it.

However, a few months ago, Zee psychotically texted and phone and facebooked me telling me to stay away from her man, whom I had probably seen once or twice since Christmas. When I see craziness like that I would rather end my friendship than end up dead.

So when Tess tells me that Blue is mad at me not because of what we initially thought but because her friend Zee doesn't like me and is under the impression that I'm "trying" to steal her boyfriend, I can't help but feel like I'm reliving middle school.

It irks me when grown women sit around gossiping and accusing other women of things that has and never will happen. They let their insecurities get the best of them and they let their lack of trust in other women skewed their perspective of what's real and what's not. If Zee had bother to asked me what was going on with Dan, I would tell her the truth --- I tutored him in his English/Literature class, I helped revised a few papers for him, he called me up one night telling me that he wanted to kill himself because Zee was with another man, I gave him advice on how to apologize even if he felt like he wasn't wrong, and I was there as a friend; truth be told, Dan treated me like I was his best guy friend; I mean he told me things I never needed to hear. And Dan to me was like a best girl friend.

I guess what bothers me is that crazy grown up who love drama and live in drama need to act their age. I'm not the type to beat around the bush; if I think you have a problem with me, I'll ask you about it and I'll try to apologize or explain the situation and if you refuse to listen to me then it's no longer my problem it's yours and if I have a problem with someone I let them know how I feel and if they don't do anything about it then I know it's not worth my time to be friends with them ...

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I wished that these girls would stop being drama queens and learn to be adults and act like adults.

The "One" that got away

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:32:57 GMT

"Author's Note: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental ... Especially you Jenny Beckman ... Bitch"

So the other day, I finally watched, "500 Days of Summer" and I loved it because unlike those other happily-ever-after Disney movies, this movie showed how a relationship that seemed to be going so well, fell into a thousand miserable pieces; just like it does in real life.

One of the most heartbreaking moments of the movie was when Summer remeets Tom at his favorite spot. He asks her, "Why?" (Why did she leave him? Why did she say she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone but is now married? Why did she not have the courage to just tell him she had moved on with her life? Why did she give him that last string of hope and then pull the rug from under? Why did she have to be such a heartless biatch?) And she replies, "I just knew with him what I wasn't sure with you."

And as much as I hated her, I loved her reply.

I really thought this friendship thing with Max could work but I have realized I was wrong. Before I met Max, I was a lot like Tom. I believed in all that love at first sight, the one, mushy romantic crap. And then after Max left, I was an emotional wreck, crazy at times but mostly just dead inside. A lot of people tried to comfort me with their "there's plenty of fishes in the sea," "it's his lost, not yours," etc. But I knew the truth, how I felt about Max was something I would never feel about anyone else.

It's been a few year since Max broke up with me and in that two years, I've probably been interested in five men at most. And it's not that I was even really interested in them; they, in some way or form, reminded me of Max and so I pushed myself to pursue something with them, in hopes that what Max and I had could be rekindle in a relationship with someone who was like him.

Max was "the one." In my twenty-five years of life, I have never felt so much passion with anyone before. Before Max, there were plenty of boys I liked but there was never someone I just had to get to know, someone I just had to be with; Max was different. The moment I saw him, I just knew that he would be someone important in my life. My feelings for Max were beyond passionate and I will always love him, whether I would like to or not.

But here's the ugly truth, Max will never feel the same. The passion I feel, the love I have, he will never understand or reciprocate. Because if he did, we'd still be together, but we're not. Much like Summer, Max will find someone who he will just know he is meant to be with, something he was never sure enough with me.

Call me a fool ...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:36:41 GMT

I always wonder how an ex would initiate a booty-call, especially if the ex was at one point in my life, "the one". For the past few weeks or so, Max and I have been on extremely good terms. So today, I was telling him about how I had an interview tomorrow and I wasn't sure what to wear, a skirt or pants. He replied, "A skirt with no ..." I started to crack up because I was thinking, he was probably waiting for the perfect opportunity to text dirty to me. Well, what started out as a PG conversation, soon turned into something else. He suggested Saturday with dinner and I, of course, agreed. But I was still turned on by all the dirty talk so I suggested that we still meet. And we did.

Now, I've never really done the booty-call thing before and doing it with someone I once loved with all my heart was kind of well awkward. As soon as I got there, I was ready to go but he was still trying to be all proper. I told him he didn't need to chit-chat. We got upstairs and before any of our clothes were off, I told him that I had only one rule that after it he still had to treat me like a person because I really liked what we have right now. He agreed. Unfortunately, nothing happened. I guess the build up of the dirty talk had already satisfied us .. we were both laughing at ourselves about how both of us were all excited for this booty call and nothing happened.

We ended up putting our clothes back on and watching television and talking to each other. We're still having dinner on Saturday. I'm not looking to fall madly in love with him again; I'm just hoping to have my best friend back with the occasionally great sex here and there.